The Aftermath; 3 Years Later.
Some of you may remember from my posts on facebook and on various online forums, that I had been in a situation involving abuse and cult-like behavior perpetuated by the former High Priestess of our coven. It has been almost 3 years since my former High Priestess, the one whom I did most of my deepest spiritual training with, was outed as an abuser. Her abuse and manipulation will take decades to heal, she will never apologise for the pain she caused to her chosen family, and will never admit to wrong-doing. She will continue to lie and manipulate, she will continue to use the people around her as stepping stones all in the guise of doing the Goddess’s Work.
The short recap the things she did that are abuse that I know of personally (And certainly not everything):
My Former High Priestess used her control over others to gain power. She practiced “Love Bombing” , if you did what she liked you were adored and held high, if not you were shunned.
(And I am having a very hard time writing this, because I first write it out as , “she had sex with”, “she coerced”, but the words here are “she raped”)
She Raped two women that I know of, all in the coven and are women I hold in High Regard. She threatened their Job, and their place in the coven if they did not do what she wanted. She threatened one woman, that if she did not leave her partner, she would make her job and life miserable as well as smearing her partner's name all out of Jealousy.
She is Transphobic. She had a good show of being all inclusive and wanting a diverse group, but this is some kind of disease she has. I can’t claim to understand it. I can for 100% certainty say she is a Transphobe. Now she uses this as some kind of reasoning why she was shunned. I’ve even had one person say this to me: “You should know, HP has been targeted by the Trans Lobby” When I told my story of what I had seen. “Sounds Like something she would say” I replied. She uses this because there are a bunch of people who are transphobes, and they can be stepping stones for her now too.
Death and Mourning
What we as a coven have experienced is a Death, not just of someone who was very important to us and that we loved, but a death of trust. We lost a community of people. Many have been immobilised due to the stresses of public scrutiny. Our hearts were so entwined in the Work we never saw or understood the sexual abuse and manipulation that had been masking itself around as innocence. We feel fucking stupid sometimes, too.
We laid our shit out. Made a mistake, now we need to focus on the victims and resolutions. I used to say “An Apology and admitting to her mistakes” would be a nice end to this, but at this point I am sure she has justified herself with her own lies and is rooted in her Narcissism. We thankfully have come together as a coven, those who have left the organization and those who remain are strong friends, understanding that we are all human.
We Banish the Abuser and the Sycophantic behavior.
I was in a coven of women who are sexual/abuse survivors. The Leader of this Group used her position as a woman to abuse women.. It hurts so much because her face to me was that of a good friend. The work now feels tainted because of her influence on it. I encourage myself now to do public rituals because I need to see those good parts of community again, and make new memories that do not involve her influence over me.
So the only thing I can offer is; Get the Fuck Out.
Now every once in a while I see her name creep up on my social media, she has found an angle to work here and there with certain people. Most of these people are well removed from the pagansphere of California, where she has made a mockery of the Goddess Movement and burned her bridges. They only see the face she gives them, the one that offers them a good love bomb. There are enough people in the world, who did not see abuse first hand, they only see what they can greedily grasp from a woman who claims to have all the answers. I won't be able to convince the people around her that she raped women. I truly believe that many people don’t even care that she raped women. But may your blinders come off if you think she is innocent!